A friend of mine, a waitress, posted a story on Instagram about her “customer of the day.” He was drinking at the bar and as often happens, he started telling her all about his life. Specifically he talked about his wife and kids, and how they made him miserable.
Then he asked her out on a date.
And she thought, “wow, that’s so classy. But…how about no?” Now she obviously didn’t say that to him, but she did turn him down.
At first he seemed to take it OK, and he even bragged about how he is getting good at dealing with rejection. But then, when she didn’t admire him for his resilience and grit, he became passive aggressive. He eventually tried stonewalling her, and when that didn’t produce results, he finally sulked off. (Without leaving a tip.)
Hey look, rejection sucks. It’s hard to ask an attractive woman on a date. (Although, he was married, so maybe he shouldn’t have been doing that in the first place.) And I guess maybe it is surprising when a woman who has been being so nice to you suddenly does something you don’t like. (Although, being nice to customers is…kind of like…her job.)
But then I realized that this story’s weirdness and creepiness far surpasses the mere absurdity of this dude’s mid-life crisis.
What’s so strange is that, not only did he complain about his family and blame them for his unhappiness, he somehow thought that this young waitress would be sympathetic.
In fact, he thought that blaming and complaining would make her so sympathetic that she would want to date him.
That is some true next-level entitlement.
And of course, when he didn’t get what he wanted, he stonewalled her. This is how he treats a woman that he is trying to make a great first impression with. Just imagine how he treats his wife and kids.
So let’s see here. What do I already know about this guy? I know he avoids talking directly to the people he supposedly loves, and instead relies on gossip. I know he is incredibly entitled. And I know he likes to paint himself as a “good guy” but his actions don’t match his self-image.
And I know that blaming and complaining are the first warning signs of all of this behavior. They are the first yellow, maybe dark orange flags. Not quite red, but close.
So now it’s time for me to look at my own behavior.
How often do I complain?
How often do I blame?
And how often is blaming and complaining a sign that maybe I’m acting more like this “customer of the day” than I’d like to admit?