This is a conversation with two female dancers, Ciera Baird (aged 15) and Vy Nguyen (aged 18). The quote in the picture is from Ciera, and she is talking about men in general in the dance scene. That quote is not necessarily about men who are trying to have sex with her.
Later on, though, she starts talking about the men who hit on her.
“Instead of just asking the girl, “OK I’m really horny and I want to fuck, would you want to?’, wasting no time, no they would rather go through the longer problem of getting you attached to them. I don’t understand how that’s OK in anyone’s mind. Like, how do they think it’s OK to make someone attached to them, to get something they want, then leave them, and then go off somewhere else and do the same thing.
It’s like their ego is so huge that they want to be remembered in that girl’s life, whether it was hurt or bitter, they just want to be remembered and know that they won, they got what they wanted. They deceived the girl.
So then in the girl’s head she’s hating herself. So they really want a girl to hate herself over something they manipulated her into doing. They are doing all this work to get a girl to hurt over them, to remember them, to hate herself so that they can feel like they have power over her.
You ever notice this Lauren? Because I’ve been seeing this a lot and I think I’m on to something about why they’re doing it. I feel like they just have the biggest ego, and they just want to show that men can control women, and men will always be the alpha, no matter what. It’s about showing girls that, ‘hey, I hurt you. I’m still gonna be in your head right, because I hurt you. You’re hating yourself over me, right, OH! It’s all about me.'”
Vy chimes in, “I think you’re on to something because when you’re hurt by someone then that means you care about them.”
In response to Ciera’s questions about what I’ve noticed, I will say a few things. Men’s desire for sexual conquest is not just about hormones. If it was, they’d just use pornography. The desire is also about winning. Winning battles over women, yes, but also winning battles with other men over clout and prestige. Finally, yes, I’ve noticed that, regardless of whether sex is involved, men have a nasty tendency to view women as property.
Anyway, Ciera did not merely give me permission to post this conversation. She pretty much demanded that I post it. So here it is. No conclusions, no quick fixes and no easy answers. But someone has to get the last word. So here is Vy:
“I’m just mad all the time.”