Overcoming mental illness or addiction, leaving abusive relationships and toxic situations, trying to live better financially, physically or spiritually–many of us are on a journey to get better, do better, and be better.

But unfortunately, we are all human and we are all biased. One of the harshest truths I have had to learn is that I constantly need to meet new people and form new friendships. Why?

The people I already know are biased by my past self.

And many of them will try to stop me from changing. It’s not even hatred or jealousy or whatever. It’s probably not intentional at all. In fact, I doubt they even realize they are doing it. But they have a bias, the bias is based on who I used to be, and consciously or unconsciously they confirm that bias by trying to bring me back the old me.

It does no good to fight with them about who I am becoming. It’s necessary to meet new people, with different biases. And when the old acquaintances see what others see, that I have changed, then maybe they will come along too.